Hello guys. Today I meant to release Chapter 6 of the Livorno Series, but after what’s been the most read post on this blog’s history and due to some thinking I’ve doing on what that means, I wanted to share a few thoughts on my motivation for starting this blog and FM content creation as a whole.
I really enjoyed writing the Lessons series, and it being a big success (in terms relative to this blog, of course) truly warmed my heart. As writer and journalist it made me happy that going a bit outside the tried and trusted formulas was received so well. I’m not saying anything new, of course; every day some motivational speaker is telling some hopeful creator to think ourside the box, to come up with something new. But as any writer, singer, painter, designer, etc. will tell you, it’s not that easy not is it well received that often. Writing, like any form of creative works, means putting a little piece of yourself out there, and more often than not the World (and the Internet) does not appreciate that bit of hope you send into the void. I look forward to continue composing these articles for you guys and I sincerely hope that you’ll enjoy them. That however put a stark contrast on the article I was supposed to be uploading today. Let me explain…
For a while now the guys at Dictate the Game and I have been working on a piece on the FM community and it’s rising interest on Mental Health issues. As we went through the anonymous questions we received, one really caught my eye. It was about content creation on FM, why people were drawn to it, and why some felt like it was some sort of obligation to put content out there, why creators felt like they had to apologize when things don’t go to plan. While the second part of the question is, at least for me, a fairly easy one to answer (one simply wants to be thoughtful of the people who look forward to your work), the second one, not so much.
While it’s obvious that I can’t in any way, shape or form begin to answer why we, the FM creators as a whole, do what we do, it caught my attention how I found myself surprisingly lacking words to describe why I do it.
It’s certainly not to make money; while as with every creator in every field the thought never quite leaves the depths of your head, it’s absolutely not amongst the most important reasons. I’m also sure it not just to share with the community; it’d be hypocritical of me to say that’s all there is to it, that I put no attention to how my work is received, what people think of it. It’d be a convenient and unblemished white lie with a great ring to it. I’m not saying nobody does it, I’m just saying there is other motivation for me.
The more I think about it the more I feel it’s got to do with putting my voice out there, and to challenge myself to create something people can enjoy. Like telling a story in a campfire, there a special magnetism to holding the flashlight, and driving those who hear you though the infinitely spreading path of the words.
Now, it makes little sense to take the stand and put yourself out there if doing it brings you no joy. Yesterday, as I ploughed through yet another gruelling campaign with Livorno, I found myself thinking I had to finish that season cause I had to get the post ready for today, and it all felt so… gray. Of course, it’s no news that the Livorno save has been a bit of a miserable one for me, but I always enjoyed putting the posts together as I felt there was some rainbow building up at the other side of the hill. Not this time; for the first time it felt like I was working FM, rather than playing it.
I’ve always understood that doing any sort of creative work requires perseverance, and whitstanding some moments of grinding, and always accepted it. Putting the South American Journeyman posts together is hard work; taking all of the screenshots, figuering out how to make all the elements work, choosing what to focus on and what to leave a bit to the side… But I always enjoy it tremendously. I giggle thinking of small references to put here and there, love hearing from people who enjoy it and most of all I love playing that save though lately it’s been kicking me while I’m on the ground. And that’s where I draw the line.
I’ve never thought of creating content in terms of what will get views or likes or retweets but of content that I love to make, and content that you guys hopefully enjoy to read. That’s the reason I started this blog.
Hence, I’m dropping the Livorno Series. I would have loved it to work as I admire that club and it’s people, and the idea behind it, but at this point it feels more like a relic from the past I keep dragging around; a backpack full of the baggage from when I was just dipping my feet in this whole blogging experience, unsure the type of content I intended to make or what (and if) I’d enjoy about it. If you were looking forward to it, I’m very sorry.
In any case, this leaves a free spot in the thursday’s schedule so I’ll have a long think about what is gonna take it. The FM20 is slowly coming to an end so it’ll probably best to leave some ideas I have for the next game and in turn do something short term. I’m happy to hear any suggestions…
Until then, thanks for reading.
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